I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize