I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
