Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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