Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
