Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
