So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
