remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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