Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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