I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
