i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
