Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
