I faked an abortion last night.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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