I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
