i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
