like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
