Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
