you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So much rum. So many feels.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
