If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
