Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
