you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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