I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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