i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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