So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
