A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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