I want to stick my p in your. b.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize