I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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