That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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