and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
