I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize