im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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