Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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