You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
