I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
