why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
