there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
