Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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