I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
