Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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