I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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