I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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