we're making bets on your personal life
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
