what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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