Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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