I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
