he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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