Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
