I got chris browned last night
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
