Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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