If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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