do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
