Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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