I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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