At least make sure they are 18
Why
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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