I hope mine doesn't look like that
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
