he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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