he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
