he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
