Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
