They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
